on a not so beautiful day....

  
Feelings of hate have turned me inside out. The monster has emerged; come near if you can handle the depth of it all. Tearing you into pieces… Let me school you. Fuck it, not caring enough about you. Chained and slaughtered by discouraging words, and discomforting emotions. Wishes of abandoning my identity might be disturbing; to me it’s a release of hate and well-deserved embraced freedom. A person who has painted a faded picture for them should only blame herself. The happiness of becoming inferior is overwhelming. Unknowingly, tears of hate have strayed me from love. This world is not evil in itself, but one who lives a lifestyle of a one way road has not only destroyed me but has made me evil. When thinking of others loosing their lives over pain they are temporarily embracing, has me second-guessing life. There is a life outside the bubble. Built by followers and destroyed by leaders, the tight space of lost ambition is the reality. I blame me. An encounter with a genuine person is temporary you are blinded by a vision of happiness for that moment then hit by reality. See, every emotional decision of life is for every leaf on the hated branch, which is connected to the beautiful tree. Hate is bound to follow me. It’s found comfort in me. I’m not sure for the pain but I am the only one to blame. Release me from the oath of punishment. Accountable for my own path all I can say is fuck you. It hit me harder than most and the manifestation of my life has unraveled into things I did not expect. Unsure of the reasons why I placed these vile feelings and unrealistic notions in my head, I still believe in a better me. And thanks to me the harsh actualities of my life are now weighing heavily on my heart. Caused by my own thoughts and assumptions, hate has granted me a wish. I wish I never did what I did, and I wish I never let these false words steer my outlook on my own life and decisions. 
     

simply you...

misunderstood yet you terminate the negative and indulge in positive 
you shine harder than most causing friction upon others.. 
people around you hate because they notice your light never seems to dull 
your ambition is contagious i want to be just like you 
no matter the circumstances you have accomplished goals so early in your life while others were still lost and caught up in false dreams
i can tell that the Lord feels you are truly special 
he has put you through inequitable obstacles that have been overcome by only you.. finding yourself abandoned yet you pick yourself up 
advancing to the next level of change you have now become inspirational
no one has been successful in clouding your focus 
you have traits of a strong beautiful and passionate parent with commitment to her family in good intention 
this has made you the powerful person you are today
when striped from money material and judgment you will come out on top with your heart soul and mind
thoughts of encouragement and knowledge you are now more than ever able to assist hopeless souls who seem strayed
no man can ruin you... unstoppable in your own way 
you strengthen in your deep thoughts which provides motive to your life and hope towards your future
i love u because...
you are embedded in my heart and like clock work you will always be there letting down your prideful wall
a crowded room but you know where to find me a flawless image right before the eyes of oblivious followers but you still catch the deeper whom 
you bring light into dark corners where no one but you can see
you are the fire in my life 
your presents is comforting 
your voice is soothing 
you have aimed for my heart and like everything you have achieved it effortlessly